Halloween

This is GI Joe. Do not call him Asher. He responds only to GI Joe.

So Many Pwoblems

Tonight, laying in Asher's bed:
"You need to make your body be still now."
"But I just have so many pwoblems...my shirt isn't (pulled straight) down... my bottom itches, not having any sneezes....(he picks his nose)...and I gotta pick my nose (pause, pause, pause) ....It's picked now. OK."
Whew. Glad we got that out of the way.

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Owen was so sweet tonight. He and I were sitting at the dinner table (Asher refusing to put down the Wii remote and come to dinner; me racking up the amount of chores he was about to do after dinner) and he started telling me about his new assigned seats. He now sits next to Sydney. "Sydney doesn't have anyone to play with at recess." We talked about why and how he could be a good friend to her. "I just didn't play with anyone after awhile- I was just on the swings by myself." His tone is light and sweet. I asked why. "Johnny likes Cole better than me."

(Screeech) (Hold the phone)
(Under control now) "What makes you think that?"
"Well, Johnny (the kid I referenced in the last post) is just kinda mean."

So, naturally, I started talking about how smart Owen is for picking his friends well, and how sometimes you just don't get along with everyone. Even as an adult.

"I thought about being lonely with Sydney on the swings..." I wasn't sure what that meant, but I told him you could be alone and happy, you don't have to always be alone and sad. Sometimes alone is good, to think and talk to God and look around...something that may not come naturally to this verbose and social boy.

And with that the exchange was over. Except when he got near me again I hugged him for a long time and told him what a good friend he is, and if he feels like he needs a friend, we can pray for a good friend together. And he hugged me back for awhile.

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After last night we needed a sweet moment. Last night was awful. Me, with no compassion for his fear of spiders, acquiescing to him sleeping in his brother's bed, absorbed in my own activities until finally shouting them into bed at 9:35 for the LAST TIME. Him, arguing, getting out of bed, asking, stalling, talking, playing. Wearing me down until I snapped and truly lost my noodle. Tired and guilty, I put myself to sleep soon after. Then this evening, an email from the teacher. Owen's struggling with being talkative this week, even after a lot of reminders. Have I noticed any changes?

Nope. Just lack of sleep, being scared of spiders, dad out of town, water heater busted, showering at the relatives, new basketball-practice-jitters, mom just started a new job, figuring out who to be friends with in the 1st grade.... no changes. Just lots of pwoblems.

The Boys

So yesterday I met Owen's friend who he talks incessantly about and spends ALL his time at school with. From what I can tell. And I wasn't too impressed when I met him. So I had a talk with Owen later last night about how to choose your friends. I knew it didn't all sink in, but whatever, at least we had started the talk.

So tonight at dinner when I was going through the routine questioning about school he says, "I picked "John" as my friend. He knows God. And he obeys his parents."

Um....and you know this how? Of course. Because you asked him. He told me he simply asked him, "Do you know God? Do you obey your parents?" And with a simple yes the deal was done. I hope "John" didn't take it home to his parents. Dear Lord what am I going to do with this boy?

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In other news, here are some Asher-isms. Keep in mind he can't say his "l"s or "r"s, so with the appropriate lisp it's all quite funny.

-Do I have 8 toes?

-(yelling at the top of his lungs, to me and Aaron)- Oh yeah? Well you're not my friend!

- (same tone)- Well then I love Papa and NOT YOU!

-I will only go to bed if one of you comes with me.

-I will only eat this dinner if I can have ice cream.

-(struggling in the cold, under-dressed, to get over the fence and pick up his shoes and go inside)-(crying) I'm having a really hard day!

And the real winner--
Asher why did you hit your brother in the eye with the sword?
My imaginary friend told me to!!

Pics Finally- Up North

Scroll down to "Mike and Sherah" post to see pics from the wedding!

Asher's first fish

Posing in front of the Clydesdales

Hot Dog

Roasting marshmallows- his favorite nighttime activity

Asher loved the boat cruise

Fresh from a skiing lesson

Highs and Lows

I asked the kids at dinner for one good thing and one not-so-good thing that happened today.
Owen: My good thing is that I got a booster seat. My bad thing is that Emmitt called Paige a bad word.

Let's let that sink in for a second. His favorite thing that happened today is that he got a new seat for the car. He even took his friend out to the garage to show him this afternoon. And the low point- some skirmish between 2 school friends must've been a real issue to him.

Asher: My good fing is that I get chicken nuggets for dinnuh (dinner). My bad fing is that I haf to eat carrots.

And Asher shows us that it all really comes down to food.

Random List

We went "up north" for the weekend...I actually have spent the better part of 8 years trying to figure out why anyone on God's green earth would want to go "up north" when we already live pretty dang far north. But that's where the state vacations, and we were due, so up we went.

Highlights:
1. On the drive- while belting out "Gotta Feelin" by Black Eyed Peas (it's a fun, upbeat song), Aaron abruptly stops the song to point out the prison we are passing and educate the boys all about prison and why they never want to go there. I don't know what he expected to come from this conversation, but what came was...a LOT of questions. And Asher saying that if he went to prison he would be a good boy. And then me insisting he would NEVER be in prison, and then him insisting that if he DID go, he would be a REALLY good boys so the gaweds (guards) would not shoot him.

2. The boys had an argument over which parent says more bad words. Owen came to my defense, and Asher to AP's. I was pretty mystified by this one until Owen then declared I use WAY less bad words- poop, pee, (private parts), toot, etc.

3. Once Owen heard me utter the words, "wakeboarding lessons," he was in. There. He pointed me to the sign-ups when we got there. Made me ask the lady if he could go even though he is a year younger than the mandatory age. He could, and at the last minute they let AP go with and a fun time was had by all. Except for when Owen started screaming and crying when it was his turn, and when AP consequently threw him in the lake anyway. But after that, a fun time was had by all.

4. There was a lot of walking- a mile of shoreline to discover. And also- all the walking. Which was good because of- all the eating.

5. Fishing boat- Ash caught 4, Owen 1. Which was surprisingly ok with both. I think this was Asher's highlight.

6. Owen's highlight- building fires on the beach and staying up until 11:06 and 11:17, respectively, each night. (He also told a complete stranger we arrived at 5:24 the previous evening. We're into time.)

7. And last, Owen's first day of school is tomorrow. It is 9:44 and he is still awake, nervously excited and unable to calm himself and go to sleep.

Many big days for a couple of little boys. Sweet dreams my sweet ones.

It Hurt

I knew I had to do it the moment he walked onto the deck. Owen had asked for candy. I told him no. He went and got it anyway.

If you don't know Owen (you know...all you fans out there who admire me from afar), he is my strong-willed child. He can paint me into a corner with his arguing. He can wear me out with his questions. And he gets his way because of it far more than he should.

Earlier he asked his dad if they could make a fire in the fire pit tonight. As he walked down the deck stairs, I motioned to him to come over to me. I told him to open his mouth. I took a sniff. Sugar.

He admitted he had a Mike and Ike candy, with a happy face and a happy dance, and then said happily, "Sorry!"

I told him I was very sorry, but he was grounded to his room until bed. Bed was really only 30 minutes away, but he would miss staying up late for the fire. That doesn't seem like a big deal, except that this 6 year old loves fire. Adventure. Sticks. Boy things. A fire is a big deal, the highlight of the night. But there are very few opportunities for me to discipline him this clearly. It's so hard to find something he really loves to take away from him. And with school starting next week, I have been trying hard to reign in the bad behavior and create some more structure around here!

I didn't get a whine, I got a heart-broken cry. A sad cry. No temper tantrum, just defeated, shrugged shoulders as he went up to his room. A few minutes later he came back outside and asked very nicely if there was anything he could do to not be grounded. Ooooh, he was working it hard.

We gave Asher the chance to put off the fire until a day when his brother could be a part of it, but he wasn't interested in that. After the fire was going, I went up to see Owen. I hugged him and he hugged me back and whimpered. A lot of whimpering. We talked about how adults have consequences for their bad choices all the time, and I wanted him to learn this lesson while he is young. It was so clear to me that this is what God does- let's us live in the consequences of our sin and bad choices, so that we develop character. So that we realize that the momentary indulgence was not worth what it produced.

He asked me to lay down with him and snuggle (he was getting tired.) I wanted to leave him and go back out to the fire, but I thought about how God treats us. He doesn't remove His presence from us when we're repentant. He enters into our pain. He comforts us. He lives there with us. He came to earth to live in our stuff. So I stayed. I held him til he fell asleep.

This sounds like such a small, daily lesson, but it was so painful taking something fun away. I was so tempted to let it slide. But something in me told me this was it. A hundred dollar lesson for a nickel mistake.

Here's hoping.

Mike & Sherah

This is how Owen dances- hands in his pockets. Shoes off.

I hate that necklace. Why didn't anyone tell me?

I went to a very fun wedding last night. Aaron's sister, Sherah, got married yesterday. If this feels like a repeat of last August, well, you're close. Aaron's other sister got married last August, and now the fam is 4 and 0. Josh is the hold-out.

As long as I've known Sherah, she's always had a friend to pull out of her hat for any occasion. "I have a friend who's a cruise director. Let's take a family vacation." "I have a friend who will set up Rachel's reception." "I have a friend who owns a salon- she can do our hair for the wedding." I guess at some point I started trying to discern her definition of friend. But guess what? It's all true.

I guess since I don't live in the city I grew up in, I forget that when you spend your whole life living in one spot, you get to keep lots of friends. Sherah and Mike both have friends from grade school, lots from high school and college, work friends, and then tons of family. And they took the extra step to introduce ALL of their friends and family to each other at the rehearsal dinner. One by one, they introduced each of them and told stories. Even though it's awkward talking in front of lots of people, and especially CRYING in front of lots of people, they really thanked everyone who was in the wedding individually and that made it so memorable and special.

Fast forward a day to the wedding. That cruise director could not have done a better job as the master of ceremonies. I mean, I have never. He even interviewed some of the bridal party on the spot, put his friend and bridesmaid Mandy on some single guy's lap, and on and on. He was fantastic. That guy should be on tv.

When it came time for speeches they were eloquent, not awkward. I love it when the speeches aren't awkward. Although Mike got outted for wetting the bed a good portion of his childhood, the speeches (4 of them) were fantastic.

Ok, enough of the play by play, I just mean to say that I really could see how fantastic Mike's family is and how great all of the couple's friends are. It was a great wedding because people really shared from their hearts. Because Mike and Sherah are a quality couple and they finally got it done. Because their families are both happy and blessed to be joined. And because lots of people danced! Even me. Shhhhh.

So I had the boys stay for the dance instead of going home to bed and Owen morphed into...I can't think of a description. He was trying out his moves for sure. He went to find a bridesmaid that had promised him a dance in the limo (he got to ride the party bus to the reception). He watched. He learned. He danced with lots of girls. Little dancer Asher was too tired to try out his moves, and he's the one who actually has moves. Owen's eyes were practically closing on the dance floor. "Are you ready to go home?" "No. Can I lay in your lap?"

We finally turned in at 10:30. Sherah and Mike, I hope all of the planning and stress were worth it last night. I hope it was a memorable day you will never forget. We are blessed to be called your family and we have great hope for your future. Thanks for giving us a fun time. We love you.

What I Did Today

Sometimes I have to write down what I actually did during the day. Sometimes because my day and the boys' antics are so unbelievable or funny. But sometimes because at the end of the day, I often have this general sense of dread or dissatisfaction with the job I did that day. Mostly when I completely lost it with the kids. So sometimes I need to write down what actually happened so I can "take stock," and look at the truth instead of letting a general feeling overtake me - one that is usually based on nothing.

So here are some of today's highlights, for your reading pleasure:

I woke up in a hotel room and had coffee and breakfast with the family. I love that.

Watched Owen slide down the water slide approx 563 times, and doggie paddle his way to the side.

Actually swam with the kids, even though it was freezing. I did not sit on the side of the pool like most of the other parents. I got in. (Can you tell I'm annoyed?)

Negotiated my way out of spending my last $5 in cash on video games. Spent $3 instead.

Ate at McDonalds. Again.

Comforted Asher when he sprayed hair spray in his eyes.

Hit a home run talking with Owen about lying, and got the confession out of him. Reached the heart. Score.

Encouraged him not to do what the older kids do. Even backed it up with a Bible verse (1 Tim 4:12). Double score.

Considered ironing the sheets. Only because a guest is coming who actually does that.

Went for a bike ride. Let them stop to throw rocks and climb trees.

Read books.

Told them I would tuck them in again after my show was over. Felt guilty for that one.

Had absolutely no sympathy for the "I'm scared of spiders" routine at bedtime.

Collapsed. I hope the good outweighs the bad today. I think it does.

Birthday Recap

I've been told I need a birthday post. Pictures would be great, if I had them, but I need Aaron in order to work the camera. Sad, sad, sad.

The birthdays will never be repeated in the same way again. And now that I've written those words, I can be held to them next year.

Somehow I decided to have AP, Owen and Asher's party on the same day. I did Aaron and Owen together last year, and it went so well! So, let's repeat and add Asher's too, I thought. Except. Our friends with their 3 boys decided to come into town to attend. And we decided to invite our neighbors who the kids have become better friends with. Four more. And now we have several church friends, who we've never invited before. And on and on.

When I sent out the evite, quite a few people were going to miss out, and I was disappointed. But as it turns out, 21 children is just a fine number and I really should not have been worried. Twenty one. Mostly boys. Thankfully I baked a cake covered in candy and had a big batch of spiked punch available for the rest of us.

Throw in that my husband was in charge of the obstacle course, and came up with such a masterful, long, professional obstacle course, the likes of which has never been seen, and well, you have quite a party.

Madness. Noise. Running. Scared little girls hiding in corners. Boys being hit in the eye with baseball bats. Pinatas breaking on the 3rd try and big kids hogging all the candy. Crying children. People running for the exits the moment the event was over.

And then...breathing room. Space. Calm. Everyone was gone. Just in time for the adults to really unwind with their adult friends. Except (insert sound of screeching record here)....they were all scared away by the kids.

Oh well. Better luck next year. Who wants to meet me a Chuck E Cheese?

Lunch with Owen

We were out on the deck having lunch after church today.

"Do the bees that eat flowers, sting?"

"I don't know." Why do I always feel like there should be a college degree for parents? Who knows all these details?

"Those bees on the flowers...are they the ones that sting?"

"I thought all bees liked flowers, and I thought all bees can sting. But maybe I don't know enough about bees- I could be wrong."

"Yeah, because you're from Texas," he says, very innocently.

Who brainwashed my child? Obviously his brain has been frozen beyond normal capacity here in the great white north. I have some work to do.

Breakfast With Asher

"Where does Satan-The-Bad-Guy live?"

Excuse me?

Where's my coffee?

Does this warrant a deep theological answer or just a passing comment?

"Um, he lives in hell." Quite sure we've never used that word before with the kids, but I couldn't think of a reason not to introduce it now.

"Can we drive there?"

And so began the breakfast discussion of where "he" lives, how he lives in both hell and on earth, and how he makes people sad and tries to persuade us to not love Jesus. All the while wondering if my answers had any Biblical basis whatsoever.

As well as, why we can't drive there. All at 7:15 a.m.

The end.

I Get A Vacation Adventure

Something fun happened in the world of Bethany today.

Lately I've been obsessed with North Carolina. It's like I see Raleigh or North Carolina everywhere I go, or someone mentions NC in our conversation. It's been happening for a couple of weeks. I even told Aaron I thought we should move there, because obviously God must be trying to tell me something.

At some point I realized that there is a women's speaking and writing conference in July held in NC. I've followed this conference for 3 years, each year wondering why I feel interested in it and what in the world I would do there. I knew registration had closed a few weeks ago, so I put it out of my mind for the 3rd year in a row that I would go.

Today I was watching a Bible study dvd with my friend Jill, and the speaker mentioned NC. I lamented to Jill that I can't get away from NC, and then I showed her the conference website. The other day I had decided to put my name on the waiting list, just in case.

She was instantly interested. She's been feeling like turning the story of Jonathan's birth and diagnosis (Down Syndrome and leukemia) into a book, but she needs some practical advice and encouragement. So we put her name on a waiting list too, and emailed to find out how long it was.

180 women, with only 5-10 bound to make it in.

So later while I was at the park sweating off a few pounds, she wrote the BEST email, describing her journey with Jonathan and why she felt God wanted her to come to this conference, with her friend Bethany. And guess what? The conference director couldn't resist and said ok!!

I just can't believe it.

I still don't know what I'm going to do there (well, I have an inkling, but that's it).

I can't afford it (it's over $500 for the conference. Jill's husband is buying my plane ticket).

But I figure if He got me this far, He can figure the rest of it out.

I'm going to North Carolina!

Ten Years

We celebrated our 10 year anniversary today and yesterday. For obvious unemployment reasons, we decided a trip was not practical, so I was actually praying for an opportunity for us to get away to celebrate. And last week we were offered a free suite at the new W downtown in the Foshay building. Not even a room, a suite. We were on the top floor, with an incredible view, in a great room.

We left the kids with their aunt and uncle and 3 pages of notes, in the middle of a snowstorm, and went straight to the hotel, seeing as how we were in the middle of the biggest snowfall this year. So we were snowed in a lovely place with great architecture to look at, we ate way too much and slept in and finished all of our sentences. And drank some adult beverages too. It's amazing how just 24 hours away from your life makes everything feel so much better.

We are just so thankful and proud and amazed at the 10 years that just passed. God has shown himself faithful to us so many times we couldn't count if we tried. We are so blessed to have been given two little boys to raise and cherish, and we couldn't be happier. It has been hard, and good, and we are constantly overwhelmed by God's grace and mercy on us. Happy anniversary to us.

22 Questions

So I found these questions tonight for me to ask the kids. I tried it at dinner, and it's pretty entertaining. I am going to narrate after some of them, because I can. Owen's usually the one who answers, and I'll put Asher's answer after, if he decides to answer.

1. What is something Mom always says to you?
"Do not break that"

2. What makes Mom happy?
Doing the right thing;
A: picking up toys

3. What makes Mom sad?
Not doing the right thing

4. How does your Mom make you laugh?
Putting on your brother's shoe or something?;
A: hit mama in the tummy (I must've asked the wrong question!)

5. What was your Mom like as a child?
I don't know;
A: liked to play with toys!

6. How old is your mom?
32
A: 42

7.How tall is your mom?
This tall (holds arm out)
A: (goes into an explanation about how tall a giant is)

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Go to the store
A: and buy gwoash-wies (groceries)

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
(Blank stares)Still go to the store
A: Buy some gwoash-wies

10. If you Mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
What does that mean? (I explain) Finding someone's dog and giving it back to them (I've never done this before, but plenty of people have done it for us)

11. What is your mom really good at?
Painting! When you were a kid (I wonder whose mother he is talking about)
A: bowling (on the Wii)

12. What is your mom not very good at?
Strikes on the Wii (I beg to differ)
A: Drinking my juice (???)

13. What does your mom do for a job?
chores!

14. What is your Mom's favorite food?
this (points to vegetable soup. You can tell he's really thinking about his answers)
A: salad

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
When I write all my lowercase letters. (Explain to Owen the question again). When you do chores!

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
a bunny. the girl.
A: white and brown

17. What do you and your mom do together?
Last year we went to Madagascar 2 at the movie theater (I like that he remembers something from 3 months ago and can remember nothing fun since then)

18. How are you and your Mom the same?
Brown eyes

19. How are you and your Mom different?
well, your sweater and your skin don't match

20. How do you know your Mom loves you?
A: because, um, if you do something nice... (I'm so glad they have substantial answers for this one)

21. What does your Mom like most about your dad?
Because you guys are married. (What else?) That he's working on the bathroom!

22. Where is your Mom's favorite place to go?
the mall

So pretty much mom is all about doing chores and buying groceries. After I dismissed them (they were so relieved), Asher came back and said, "I know Mama loves me because sooo many much-es."
"What are so many muches?"
He opens his arms wide and repeats what we always say, "I love you thiiiiiis much!!" and then hugs himself with a big hug.

So cute.

Cupcakes and Bubble Baths

-11 degrees

It's 11:26 am and it is currently -11 degrees outside. Our high today is -4. 'Nuff said.

So this is what I've learned in my few years of living in frozen tundra, for those of you sunny-state dwellers.

- they cancelled school today for some districts (not ours) because kids waiting for the bus can get frostbite in 10 minutes on their exposed skin

- they also close ice skating rinks when the temp drops below -15, because well, ice skating outside at -5 is a totally different story than ice skating when it's -15.

- I have white marks all around the edges of the legs of my jeans. They are salt lines, from stepping in piles and puddles and mushy and hard snow. You come home and your pants dry out and you have white lines showing where the salt clung on and stayed.

- at a certain point, electronics stop working in the cold. The gas pumps give you no information about what buttons to push because it's too cold for the read-out to say "do you want a car wash?" So that's really fun, standing out in the cold to get gas and trying to push the no button 10 times just so you can get your gas and get on with it. Or take the lesson I learned last year: NEVER leave your cell phone out in the car overnight. Takes 3 days for it to recover.

- moms must by all winter clothing for their children at the beginning of the season. Because in January, the stores clear the shelves to make room for Valentine's Day and 4th of July, and when little Asher loses his mittens (all 6 of them), there is no mitten to be found in Minnesota. Never mind that winter lasts until May.

- winter cold gives you brain freeze. It's been cold for 3 days and I've only left the house when necessary. So today, the coldest day of the week, I am going to go to the library. It's unncecessary and it's going to hurt, but my frozen brain is telling me it won't be that bad.

Minnesota soldiers on.