Saturday

This is from 2012- nearly 2 years ago.  It has been in my draft folder and I decided to post. 6/22/14


It's 9:15 am (or something) on Saturday morning.  I've been up for hours, but am still unshowered and in my pajamas.  There are 2 kids swirling around me, the other has already escaped into the neighborhood. I'm so glad God is faithful to work on my character development, but wow, on a Saturday?

At 8:17 I'm making pancakes and there's at knock at the door.  She's wearing scrubs and holding Turkish soccer jerseys.  She walks in without making eye contact and immediately starts talking. "Oh hey, I have the stuff for the kids..." as if it's completely normal to see her at this hour and I know exactly what she's talking about.

Thing is- it is and I do.  But it's noteworthy.

I turn back to my pancakes and call the boys up.  They don't listen.  I yell.  They don't listen.  I tell them there are gifts upstairs and they come.  They demand breakfast and syrup and forks and I'm trying to make a smoothie and the blender is stuck...

She starts handing out clothing while reading a note about sizes.  Pretty soon she's handing out checks and money.  How can I vascillate so quickly between annoyance and gratitude? I offer her breakfast.

She gets a call from Gramps.  He's in pain and she needs to come home.  "I need to get home right away.  Something's wrong with Gramps!"  And then she pours syrup on her plate.  I pour myself some coffee.  She eats and leaves and I survey the wake.  I marvel that my husband is still in the shower, feeling no need to come out and: A).  Help me or B). See what his mom is (was) here for.  I need to make more pancakes, the kids are begging for video games.  I say no, argument ensues.  Hannah is screaming to get down from the table, although she has syrup in her hair and all over her arms.  She's been eating syrup with her fingers.

Right now it's calmer, although I can hear Aaron trying to break open the office door.  Last night Asher decided to experiment with door locks.  He thought we could pick it open with a hanger.  He was wrong.  Asher and I also had a lesson on how not to scream at someone who's talking on the phone, which was earned while I was discussing Urgent Care options with Gigi on the phone.  So I sent him into my room with my cell phone and told him call Aaron in the kitchen as a little lesson.  Then I proceeded to bang on the door and ask for popsicles while he was trying to detail his birthday list to Papa.  He loved playing me by yelling, "Shut UP!" and slamming the door in my face.  For the record, I've never done that.

Wow.  Saturday.

Brain Freeze

We pulled into church at 9:10 am.  The service started in 5 minutes so we were sort of early, but it would take every second to get everyone to their classes.  Suddenly Owen put down his book and snapped to attention.  "Uh, mom....I don't have any shoes!"  "Actually... I don't either," piped up Asher.

Really?  I understood that since Owen likes to keep a closet in the back seat, he assumed there were shoes back there.  Asher's reasoning I can't really explain, except that he's often out to lunch, leaving shoes in weird places, losing shoes, toys, etc.  But still, how do BOTH my boys leave the house without shoes?  Do I really need to remind them that in this country we wear shoes in public?
 
My options- take my kids to church barefoot, which my church would actually tolerate.  I would get some laughs.  My kids usually check their shoes at the door of kids church anyways. But on principal alone (and a touch of southern manners), I kept driving, right through the parking lot and towards home.  I didn't say much, I just turned the sermon I was listening to back on.  Fittingly, it was about parenting. That probably saved their bums.

Let's see, what else do I need to say as we leave the house?  Are you wearing underwear?  Definitely need to check that.  Do you have shoes on?  Is your clothing clean?  Are you carrying any weaponry?  Are there any dead animals in your pocket?  I need to write this down.

QOTD

We were doing a short devotional this morning, and the topic was letting God give you peace in your thought life.  Asher's contribution: "When I have bad thoughts I just think about birthday cake."

Totally serious and said with a straight-face.

Right on, little dude, excellent strategy.