So AP was out of town over the weekend, so I did the only sensible thing and hired a sitter and went to the spa. It turned out to be a super warm day- in the 80s when I left the spa, on the 1st day of October. I was so relaxed and I was in this shopping district where people were outside enjoying the weather and I thought, "I should bring the boys here. We should get outside. We have to enjoy this weather." As I drove back home I slowly changed my plans to, "Maybe we can make it to the park." Even going to the park is a bit of an undertaking, and this is why...
So I get home and the sitter tells me that Asher didn't nap. Maybe he'll go to bed early, she says. So the minute she left I put him down for a nap, started dinner and told Owen we'd go to the park after dinner. This is at about 4:45.
Owen and I had a nice dinner and I only had to get up and down about 5 times. I told him to play outside for 10 minutes while I got ready to go. Then I decided to put the kids' bikes in the car while they weren't around to "help." Suddenly I heard a faint, "Maaaaama!" I looked in the backyard and Owen was gone. I looked in the window and he was frantically looking through the house for me. "I HAVE TO POOP!" He yells. And Asher starts crying.
So up I go with Owen, take off shoes, his pants, and put on a pull-up. He gives me instructions about where I should go while he does his business. I get Asher up, who is clearly still sleepy and annoyed at being woken by the pooper. I get him dressed, change his diaper, put his shoes on. Take him outside to finish with the bikes. Owen is yelling, "I want to go! let me help!" We argue about how he doesn't have pants on and he's busy pooping, but he wins. All of us outside. Bikes in the car.
"Owen go inside and I'll change you." I take Asher in the front, Owen wants to go in the back. I go upstairs, lock the doors, close the window, while holding clingy Asher. Where is Owen. Downstairs, out to the garage..."OWEN!" He jumps. Great, now I have to apologize. But not yet. "Get upstairs so I can change you!"
Change the diaper, put the pants back on, the shoes on, etc. "Listen closely Owen. Go get in your carseat." "Okay mama, I'm listening. Where are we going?" ARRRRGGHHHH.
5 minute discussion about going to the park. I thought this was clear. The bikes are in the car. What is this discussion about? He watched me put the bikes in the car so we could go to the park. I put Asher in the car. Put Owen in. "Can I wear the little seatbelt?" As opposed to the big one- I'll spare you the seatbelt lesson. Suffice it to say, kids never ask for little kid stuff. "Fine," I say. And he pipes in, "Cuz I want to buckle it."
"NOOOO! You don't understand. Asher is going to lose it as soon as we get to the park! He's tired! We are in a hurry- AGAIN! We have a limited amount of time to go to the park before it gets too late and someone melts down and we have to come home! Just get in the damn car before I explode!!!!"
Of course I edited that down, but he did get an explanation, I did get him in the car, and we did go to the park. It was 6 pm. And I was officially exhausted.
But the park was lovely. The only interesting part was explaining to Owen what smoking is, all within earshot of the wonderful people smoking in their car.
I'm not sure what the moral is, this experience is too common and not yet a part of my distant memory. If you come up with one, please let me know.
