No Respect

These are the things I've heard today. By the way, it's noon.

"Mom, can I please play Wii by myself now?"
ie, mom you suck and I don't want you on my team anymore.

"OOH what's that bad smell??!" said the child walking in the door from school. That would be dinner in the crockpot, dear.

"Mom, it's making me gag!" "Then spit it out in the trashcan."
HURL all over the floor NEXT TO the trashcan. The culprit? An orange slice.

Can't wait til this afternoon!!